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Improving my relationship with Pride...

Oh dear God. I've discovered why I've felt so cut up over pride this year. It's because I see it as a primary relationship. :O I'd never quite understood David Jay's description of a group/community of people being a relationsihp as fulfilling emotional intimacy, but in the way he discusses it here, I've realised I'm a classic case:

I will end with an asexual story. One of the perks of being AVEN's founder is that I get to fly around the country giving talks at various universities. I'm usually invited to campus by the LGBT group, and I've noticed an interesting trend. Not surprisingly, the LGBT groups that invite me tend to be ones that have active asexual members. Of the 14 schools where I have spoken over the past two years, 7 have had out n' proud asexuals waiting in the audience.

Here's what is surprising: 6 of those 7 asexuals were club presidents. Think for a second about what that means. An asexual becoming president of an LGBT club is a little like a youtube video getting an oscar. When these people were freshman, their clubs probably weren't aware that asexuality existed, and probably had to struggle just to accept an asexual into their ranks. Yet whenever one of those asexuals is waiting to greet my plane I can be almost certain that she is running the show.

I can't help but wonder if this is, in part, because love and leadership are so fundamentally connected. Most of the people in an LGBT club split their energy between pursuing a primary partnership and building up their network of friends, but few asexuals on college campuses have that luxury. The best way for an asexual to fulfill her emotional needs is to build close-knit friendships, and the best way to do that is to work with her friends on something that all of them find personally empowering.

My point is not that asexual people are innately better leaders, merely that circumstances may have forced asexual people to tap into the link between love and leadership more deeply than most. See our need for love and fullfillment as deeply connected with our ability to positively impact the world around us can have an incredible effect on both. When we are desperate for love we make it by reshaping our world for ourselves and those around us. When we are desperate to reshape the world our skill in loving others guides us to a place of power, abundance and justice.

Sorry pride - I was in love with you and you didn't realise how much you meant to me. Oops... ah well. It explains how I want closure on the issue by knowing why and who made me feel out in the cold. Also explains why I want it to grow and develop and get more members - enlarge my family! 

Ah well, hopefully (what with elections on Tuesday) we can mark a reaffirming of my relationship with the LGBTetc movement, and we'll go from strength to strength.

I can't wait - our relationship may not be all that romantic, but hell it'll be strong and life-long, hopefully.