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Anger will help me write.

I am angry that society doesn't accept me. It is unfair that people like me - people who aren't perceived as heteronormative - gay, bi, trans, queer, pan, ase and everyone else - have not enough representation as 'normal' people. We're up to 10% of the population, yet on television we're still taboo or unheard of, and rarely not sensationalised or stereotyped. It makes me angry that almost every representation of a healthy, desirable or sexy relationship in the media: film, literature, theatre, tv, advertising, magazines... and if it is mentioned, it's in terms of gayness first. The legitimacy of people to love each other gets ignored.

I am angry that so many people find themselves alienated against their own will from society because of this, and I'm angry that society turns it back on so many people. Feeling that society doesn't appreciate or care about you, that you are superfluous, that you are ineffective and have no purpose in society, because you cannot see how you can change it - it faces many people when confronted with a societal structure that doesn't include you. I am angry about the ridiculously heightened levels of suicide amongst LGB people, and the rate for trans people - up to one in two - is so shocking it makes me want to cry. I am angry that low self-esteem is so common amongst LGBTQA people - and I'm angry that from the scarce scientific sources I have, that ase people come out worst. Almost a quarter of the posters on AVEN have depression, and only 30% can happily say they've never had it.

I am angry that difference makes people fear. I am angry that my lack of attraction to people makes people inform me that I am a peadophile. That I am incapable of love. That I 'probably could and should be fixed'. That they are entitled to know intimate details about my sex life. That they pity me. That I'm making it up. That I'm mentally ill. I am angry that other LGBT people have been accused similarly.

I am angry that people who appear non-straight in the eyes of others can suffer at any moment from bizarre homophobia. I am angry that whenever I see a gay couple be affectionate in public, or someone comes out, I can't help thinking that they are brave, or to check the crowd for danger.

But most of all, I'm angry that LGBT people don't stick together. Bisexual people suffer biphobia from the gay community a lot - too straight, not gay enough. 'Greedy' 'cheating' 'promiscuous' 'fickle' 'phase' 'manipulative' - not just straight stereotypes. It's gay people I've seen be most demeaning to bi people. Trans people get almost as much crap from the gay community as from the rest of society, with the added insult of having stood by gay people since the beginning. Groups like Stonewall UK and Cymru refuse to acknowledge transgender people for no good reason it seems, whilst appropriating the name of a riot in which trans people were instrumental, and nominating a journalist for their awards next month who has made blatant transphobic comments in the past.

I am angry that the National Union of Students LGBT does not recognise anyone who is not strictly LGBT as worthy of their support, endorsement or time. I am angry that I am summarily dismissed from their presence because I am not LGBT, although I have so, so many of their issues in common. I am angry that certain members of my pride committee want to change the name to 'LGBT' - not because of their reasoning, but because they don't seem to have realised how important pride is to me - as pride. As a place where all the stupid politics is irrelevant and it's just a safe place for people to hang out in, where sexual orientation is a non-issue. Pride at it's best symbolised what I want society to be like - caring deeply about everything except your gender, or your partner's,

I am so. so angry that I've been made to feel outside that safe place. I want to dedicate my life to this stuff, and it makes me so cross that the people I'm prepared to protect, promote and endeavour to improve the lives of seem prepared to leave me to one side until NUS Wales gets off its arse and lets me in. If we all did that, nothing would ever have happened.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
24th Oct, 2008 02:59 (UTC)
'Bout time
It's about time someone else is starting to get angry. I was once told "love gives you the strength to survive, anger gives you the strength to fight." (in context this was told to me 'fight' should be read as 'change')
If we don't start fighting a bit more the status quo will only be maintained.
24th Oct, 2008 03:19 (UTC)
Do you need me to give someone at Pride a verbal lashing? Or to go with you and back you up? That is totally unacceptable that they would exclude ase people and take away that safe space from anyone. *growls*
24th Oct, 2008 03:57 (UTC)
Thanks hun *hugs* - you keep reading my angst posts!

It's not intentional safe-space taking, although I can't help but take it personally. I've had quiet words with a few people, and some of them have calmed me down and given me a lot of support. I do think that certain members need to be reminded that pride isn't just for LGBT people, but all the other letters too. I've made my views bloody well known (Ed said he knew how much I was speaking because of the number of times he had to write 'Emma A' in the minutes of the last general meeting) but if you could spare 5 minutes and send an email to the society expressing your concerns, that would be amaaaazing. Only if you really want to though. :)

There's going to be a motion at the general meeting in a couple of months' time to change the name from AberPride to AberLGBT. If you're in the country, will you vote with me to keep it? It needs a two-thirds majority two GMs running to pass, and I don't think it'll make it, but the bigger a landslide it is the better.

Thanks again m'dear. It's so good to know people are there for you. *hugzz*
24th Oct, 2008 07:36 (UTC)
random stranger sez
There is so much exclusion within the 'basic', first tier minority group 'queer' alone (to the point that 'queer' can sometimes just mean 'young-to-middle-aged gay men'); you go one level deeper, and - ah, well, basically I agree with what you're saying here.
I once tried to explain to my older (gay) brother the rationale of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival excluding any-other-than-cisgendered-females from their 'women only' event, and we both kept coming to a conclusion of '...but that is still ridiculous'.
[...awkward trailing off...]
26th Oct, 2008 00:34 (UTC)
But most of all, I'm angry that LGBT people don't stick together.
Me too. I don't even understand how people think that way (if they're thinking at all).
(Aberpride just SOUNDS better to say!)
30th Oct, 2008 19:09 (UTC)
i am bad for not seein you in ages. come to my halloween party tomorrow!! im dressing up as a tramp!!!lots of love ruth
1st Nov, 2008 17:25 (UTC)
Best dressed tramp I've seen in a long time! It was nice to be there for all of 10 minutes - see you tomorrow m'dear! :)
12th Jan, 2009 00:14 (UTC)


13th Jan, 2009 05:25 (UTC)
Perfect petty example #1 of why I want to change the world.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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