You are viewing emma_rainbow

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Sex Education Show #2

books dumb people
I managed to get back this afternoon and was part of the audience for the last episode: libido and sexuality.

It had a lot of GLB people there, which was really interesting, and although they still had a couple of audience members that made me twitch (a liking of a woman for other women does not constitute an 'Ooooooooooooooooooo!!!!' guys, really) there were very few who weren't contributary and constructive to discussion.

Someone brought up being called a lesbian at the age of 12, looking it up in a dictionary and going 'oh cool, that's me!' and I shared my similar story with asexuality, which plunged me suddenly into a big talk about it! This was awesome for visibility and suchlike, and I automatically told about 100 people about it, which is really impressive, and hopefully it'll make the cut onto national television. I wish I'd realised I was going to do that and planned better, and not been annoyed that for the billionth time I had to talk about whether I, personally, masturbate, with the majority of the room seeming *very* insistant that I describe any fantasies I have and suchlike. Whoop-de-doo. Annoyingly, a sexual therapist man linked it to low libido and a fundamentalist to celibacy, and I hope that I managed to point out that this WAS NOT the case! Fingers crossed on that!

The show concentrated mainly on libido, discussing relationships with differing levels, how cool it was to have a very high one, and how taboo to have a low one (which you were usually made to feel ashamed of, which was sad) and things you can do with that. They also talked about viagra, vaginismus, g-spots and female ejaculation, as well as age-gap lovers.

The sexuality discussion was a lot smaller, but the large numbers of gay guys and lesbians (and a couple of bi women) meant that it was discussed a fair bit, as well as the problem of homophobia as well, and two of my friends who had come with me discussed some of the crap they'd got at school, which I hope makes it and will be interesting. There was a guy saying how terrible sex ed got him HIV+ and how it inspired him to be a sexual health worker, which I really hope makes it.

It was still a bit pressure-people-into-talking, and there were two christian fundamentalists who really liked the abstinance-only sex-ed, and heterosexual-marriage-only children, or celibacy, but they got booed by everyone else a lot and freaked out by the fetishists behind them.

Oh, and one woman described the fact that she couldn't tell any of her friends about her bisexuality and went to soho on her own to see what was out there and went home with four girls on her first night out - it was interesting how the presenter forgot she was bi and described her as a lesbian from then on, getting thoroughly confused because she said she currently had a boyfriend. Just like my sex drive was overlooked because of something someone else said, it seemed she had negated her bisexuality with the women, which was interesting to watch the presenter skate around.

I talked to some really interesting people (They had the editors of Attitude and Diva there!) and I may be in an article about asexuality in Scarlet! (The lady was lovely if a bit dutch-couraged, and was just really nice! I'd love to do an article with her, she'd do it well.)

I was also cornered by one of the far-right christians afterwards and commended for talking about asexuality, which was cool (she had said earlier that sex ed should be abolished while saying it was sad asexuality wasn't taught. Can't have one without the other love!) but then seemed to equate it with celibacy, which was not. I was polite but decided to show my true colours by discussing my affiliation with QYN and my reasons for thinking that asexuality is part of the non-hetero-normative community (not straight, some want relationships with same sex, understand being marginalised, understand being misunderstood, good at the talking and thinking about sexuality, good at the support thing, done the political acceptance and de-pathologising thing) and said she worried that the gay scene was all about sex. I said that gay people aren't necessarily obsessed and she seemed confused. Ah well. I also suggested that she have a look at AVEN (the Asexual Visibility and Education Network) and it turns out she used to be a member, but she didn't like all the open discussion of sexuality, and it was full of lesbians. Apparently it's very hard to be a Christian virgin.

I also got given a card by the pycho-sexual therapist man, saying that he held a support group for asexuals. I *think* he didn't mean to sound that asexuals were broken, but he came across that way in the debate and riled me up a bit, but the group seems intriguing. I've never heard of a group for ase people before, and apart from the possibility of turning up and being positive and outreachy, I'd love to meet and talk about ase issues with other ase people, because I've never done that.

Also, there were some pickups for the rest of the series, and there *does* appear to be some serious, sensible information in there. The presenter was introducing male and female anatomy bits, as well as descriptions of what exactly happens in a sexual health clinic and during pregnancy and childbirth. good ol' facts.

I hope it goes out and is sex and variant positive! *fingers crossed* It was a good day. :)

Points I forgot to mention: there were no films to respond to today, just talking from questions because they hadn't edited yet.

Also, the set started collapsing because of that drunk clambering over it as he was chucked out on Tuesday. This was, tbh, quite funny. 

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
pretzeliter
6th Mar, 2009 05:26 (UTC)
I've recently been doing some research on the negative things sex-therapists have said about asexuality in media articles and on TV, and one tactic that a few have used is to take our term "asexual" and redefine it to mean anyone with low sexual desire and/or behavior. If they were being honest, they would have to say, "Asexuality lies outside of my area of expertise; this is a subject I don't know much about." Instead, they equivocate to falsely establish their authority to speak on the subject, so that they can use their "scientific authority" to promote their own normative understandings of sexuality.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )